And we’re doing it in the biggest way we can.
Ever thought, “I wish there was a comprehensive line of historically accurate Napoleonic box sets that included everything I needed to play and matched the ridiculously extensive uniform guides I already publish?”
We did. At least I did. Last Tuesday actually (all great ideas happen on Tuesday).
Turns out once you’re headlong into publishing the most comprehensive uniform guides available for the Napoleonic Wars, the next thing you want to do is develop the most comprehensive miniatures line to match it. You know, where the uniform plates in the uniform guides actually match the uniforms of the miniatures because both were done by the same people. That’s what you’d want to do right? It’s what we wanted to do. I know, cause I wanted to do it. I wanted to do it lot. I’ve always wanted to do it. Ever since Tuesday, when I had the idea.
And, I’d want to release it at the world’s largest, premiere miniatures wargaming convention: AdeptiCon.
So, I had this idea on Tuesday, when great ideas happen. I wanted to just shout BOOM! and like flipping a switch a comprehensive Napoleonic miniatures line appears on Wednesday (I thought all BOOMS! happen on Wednesday) but instead I was told, “That’s silly, that’s not how the thing works at all! There are literally thousands of miniatures to be sculpted, for dozens nationalities, who change uniforms seemingly all the time!” (I was wrong, BOOMS! don’t happen on Wednesday, instead all killjoys happen on Wednesday).
Then on Friday, I realized (all realizations happen on Friday) not only does it take a long time to have the sculpting done, but we’ve got to learn the basics of manufacturing processes so that we can vet the best methods for having sculpts turned into products. We’ve got to ask ourselves questions like: Is metal really the right way to go in 2022 or has it finally come the time that plastic production is able to meet or exceed the detail and quality of metal in 1:160 (10mm) scale models?
Obviously, we had a problem. This is a great idea right? I mean… it happened on a Tuesday, when great ideas happen. But AdeptiCon is happening 23-27 March 2022. And right now it’s 20 December 2021. No way all of this is getting done in ~3 months time. It’s really hard and it’s really slow and there’s a ton of work and lots to learn. So, we did the only rational thing we could do.
We built a time machine. On Saturday (all things are built on Saturday).
We went back to 2018 on Sunday (all time travel happens on Sunday), sure that 2018 will totally be enough time to get everything done for 2022, and started exploring how we could make this happen and what it would take, and who we’d need to partner with, and hey, I mean, even with a time machine, the time flies by, and all of a sudden, here we are, in December of 2021, for the second time too, about to tell you that we’re going to release ESR Napoleonic Miniatures, in plastic, at AdeptiCon 2022, on 24 March, a Thursday (all brand spanking new miniature lines are released at the world’s largest miniature wargaming convention on Thursday).
Course… there’s also the fine print: There were still lots of things we didn’t know. I mean, sure, there’s a pandemic, and a supply chain crisis… and a labor revolution (which, honestly, more power to you) but we figured, heck, 2018? That’s gotta be enough time to work around those things right? I mean, we know they are coming, they don’t start until 2020, and looking back, with all that’s happened lately, I don’t remember anything happening in 2018, it was totally calm and without drama right? So no problem!
Well… turns out, still a little bit of a problem. Also, on top of it all, with time machines, ya know, paradoxes which, I don’t believe in em either, but I’ll tell ya, still makes you worry a bit in the moment, and you’ve gotta work around your double, and, well, it is all quite complex*.
Anyway, we’re here, where is here? Here is Monday (all announcements are made on Monday). The roadmap is laid, the initial waves of sculpts are done, the vendors are lined up, but maybe we didn’t remember quite how big the impact of all the pandemic and supply chain and the labor market were gonna be, and maybe we should have gone back to 2017… but, I think we’re going to make it, and in any case, at this point, it is a question of when, not if. Also, among things we should have understood from watching Primer* a hundred times, time machines are one time use, but they’re not, but they still kinda are, anyways, point is, there’s limits, so here we are, “you can’t go back far enough can you?” (to quote Abe).
Anyways, we’re really excited and we’re thrilled to be sharing with all of you what we’re doing. And we’re really hoping you’re excited too. There’s lots more details to share, so keep checking back here and we’ll keep telling you about neat stuff.
*Honestly, it is easier if you just watch the film Primer, come to think of it, that’s probably not going to clear anything up at all. But it’s an amazing film, just be prepared to watch it a couple times, like a couple hundred times. The first time I saw Primer I watched it four times in a row, that same night, just over and over. So, be ready for that. Alternatively, you could watch this explanation, or read this explanation, or watch the entire film with Shane Carruth’s director/writer/composer/editor/actor commentary (I am literally right now as I write this). Or you could read this Wikipedia article on the film. Or maybe just checkout the chart on the bottom right of this XKCD comic, that may be less confusing.
Yes, all of this is satire, except, you know, the parts that aren’t, like announcing ESR Napoleonics Miniatures, we’re doing that, definitely, though maybe not definitely releasing them specifically on Thursday, 26 March 2022, but we hope to, cause that’s when product releases happen, but it is hard to guarantee dates these days.